I Don't Believe You

(Class topic was "stress" and the students had to ask eachother what caused them stress)
Student #1: What stresses you out?
Student #2: Nothing.
Student #1: Not work? What about home?
Student #2: No. I am happy!
Student #1: No stress? What about your wife?
Student #2: I have lovely wife.
Student #3: (eavesdropping) Bah! "Lovely" wife?!
(The rest of the class laughs in disbelief)

Useful Expressions

Teacher: We use expressions when we are speaking figuratively.
Student: I like expressions, I make play I am smart.

Ugly Soccer Players

30 year old male student: I like soccer
Female teacher: I used to play soccer for eight years
Student: (looks at teacher) I think you would be better for ballet.
Teacher: Why?
Student: Pretty women don't play soccer

A Boyfriend of Convenience

male student: is winter very cold for you?
me: yes
ms: make a boyfriend for winter and then in three months you break up!

The Animals

Student: have you heard of fork-you-fine love?
Teacher:fork-you-fine?
Student: a forkyoufine is a small and ugly animal with quills all over it.
Teacher: oh, porcupine!
(later)
Student: did you heard about the escaped bear? when i was younger a jaugar escaped from the jews.

Berkeley Hippies

Student: You are from berkeley? I went to the campus. The students there looked so free. In Korea, it is not normal to read a book half naked outside.

SIM LIFE GOD

Student: Do you know Sim?

Teacher: The game?

Student: Yes, in Sim life you can delete a city with the tap of a button.

Teacher: Okay.

Student: After I got back from China, I wanted to play Sim in real life and delete China!