I Don't Believe You

(Class topic was "stress" and the students had to ask eachother what caused them stress)
Student #1: What stresses you out?
Student #2: Nothing.
Student #1: Not work? What about home?
Student #2: No. I am happy!
Student #1: No stress? What about your wife?
Student #2: I have lovely wife.
Student #3: (eavesdropping) Bah! "Lovely" wife?!
(The rest of the class laughs in disbelief)

Useful Expressions

Teacher: We use expressions when we are speaking figuratively.
Student: I like expressions, I make play I am smart.

Ugly Soccer Players

30 year old male student: I like soccer
Female teacher: I used to play soccer for eight years
Student: (looks at teacher) I think you would be better for ballet.
Teacher: Why?
Student: Pretty women don't play soccer